Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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