Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
