You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday