Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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