At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?