So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wish my penis had a tongue
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
