Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
