you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
