You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
