Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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