you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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