where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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