Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
