all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
