At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
