the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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