Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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