What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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