Welp...herpes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize