Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
