You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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