I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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