very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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