Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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