I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
