the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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