The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Randomize
