he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
