he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
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