I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
