he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
