Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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