at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
