If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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