she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize