Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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