why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
