Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
