Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Randomize
