Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
why do cheetos always look like penises
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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