he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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