He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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