ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
