I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
