I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
