The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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