Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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