the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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