chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
