that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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