DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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