She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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