she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
