Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
