man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
