So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
