apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
