It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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