Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
