i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
