I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
