Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
