the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
