Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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