What a fucking waste of an outfit
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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