Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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