thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
