happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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