my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
