my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
